While we wait on Girmachew (our AWAA host) to come pick us up this morning to go get Noah, I thought I’d share some of the thoughts and feelings I’ve had this week on becoming a first time father…

Monday I was nervous as we walked in to the orphanage for the first time.  I’m not sure exactly why but it felt very similar to when you meet someone important for the first time or when you get up to give a big presentation.  I guess there were always the concerns that the baby they show us wouldn’t match the pictures we received during the referral, something would be wrong with him, he wouldn’t respond well to us (or to me.)  None of those things happened and the nervousness quickly went away as we walked in to Noah’s room.

Last night Courtney and I were talking and realized that it was our very last night just the two of us.  For the last few days as we’ve visited Noah, we go see him, spend time with him and then leave him to the care of the nannies (who we’re convinced take good care of him.)  I don’t think it’s truly hit me yet what it means to care for a child 100% of the time as even the last few days the nannies have still had the ultimate responsibility of caring for him when we left.  We then go off and do our own thing the rest of the day.

I must admit that part of me is scared at the thought of having to take care of this little child.  He's so small and there's so many things that he needs that I don't know how to give him.  I guess that's why God has given me such a wonderful wife that is very good with kids and knows what she is doing!  Also, I must also admit there is a small part of selfishness in thinking that we (Courtney and I) will never have just our needs and desires to worry about when planning things in the future, now we must always be considerate of Noah.  This is one of the things I've prayed for throught this process, that God would make me less selfish and able to love others even more.

Anyways, I must admit that even with the above thoughts and feelings I am very excited to bring Noah with us.  I’ve been reading through 1 Samuel 1-3 a lot over the last few days about Hannah and her son Samuel.  Courtney and I have discussed and prayed how we want to dedicate and give Noah to God just like Hannah did with Samuel.  We are also encouraged by how Samuel responded to God’s call on his life in chapter 3.  Perhaps I’ll write more about what God’s been showing me from these chapters in a future post, but they have given us confidence and reassurance that God’s hand is in the middle of all this.

It amazes me (and makes me cry) to think about how God chose Noah out of all the orphans in and this orphanage to be a part of our family.  How God directed our decision to adopt and chose the country Ethiopia.  Why Noah?  Why us?  What does God have planned for his life?  In 1 Samuel 2:8 Hannah prays:

"He [God] raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor.”  

Why has God, in His sovereignty, chosen Noah to raise from the dust and poverty of Ethiopia to become a part of a family in America?  How will God seat him with princes and give him an inheritance?  What is my responsibility in all this to be a good steward of the responsibility and life God has give us to care for?  These are fun questions to think about… I guess we’ll have to wait 10, 20 or 30 years to find out the answers to some of them!